“Stop being so hard on yourself!”
I had the grand idea of doing a photoshoot for the blog. A professional one, that is. This was the plan:
- film the makeup look for the photoshoot
- slay the photoshoot
Neither of these events occurred.
I thought it would be a great idea to do a makeup tutorial. I’m always getting compliments on my makeup, why not share my technique? To be honest, I’ve fluked it thus far but I thought, what the heck! The night before, I displayed all the makeup I needed for the shoot on a table. I was probably too excited but at least it looked like I knew what I was about to do. I wanted to “be prepared”. This was drilled into my head during hurricane season growing up in Barbados. I wanted things to run smoothly. The shoot was meant to start at 1 in the afternoon. So I figured, with the filming, I would need at least 4.5 hours to get ready.
I recorded my introduction for the video and realised I couldn’t film this with my phone or at least not holding my phone. I tried to find alternatives but nothing worked. And I wasn’t going to ask my cousin to hold my phone for 3 hours.
Anywho, I got ready just in time. For some reason, even though I didn’t film, it took me just under 4 hours to do my makeup. -_-
We did the shoot at a Fun Fair. Could you ask for more colour?! Everything was so bright and made me happy instantly. We shot for about an hour. I honestly found a new appreciation for models. That sh*t isn’t easy.
It was hard for me to pose. I can say with 100% certainty- I don’t know my angles. I expected the photographer to make magic but he could only work with what I brought. I wasn’t able to convey any emotion on my face. Why?! I was happy! I was at a fun fair for Pete’s sake!
I looked over the photos we took at the end of the shoot and I was confident we got some cool stuff.
I received the images the next morning- the moment of truth.
I was so disappointed. I really thought I did a good job. I sent them to my manager and I picked myself apart. I told her all the things I didn’t do and how I spoiled the shoot and how I even wasted the photographer’s time. I went in on myself. Let’s be clear- I am not a model. I have never done a shoot like this before but I set such an unattainable standard, and when I didn’t reach it, I felt like sh*t.
She loved them. I sent them to a couple of my friends too, and they loved them. I was confused. Kerrie (my manager) explained to me that this was my first shoot. This was supposed to be a learning experience. I was supposed to walk away with ‘what to do next time’ and ‘what not to do next time’ and if I’m honest, I did. But instead of realising everything I did do, I just focused on what I didn’t do. But why? These images were for me. There really was no pressure.
Hooded sweater dress- Boohoo
Sock Boots- Boohoo